didnt sleep well last night...
fucking nightmares again. This one about being institutionalized. I saw the whole thing through a drug haze cause they kept drugging me. scary shite.
Other than that, it looks like I may have good news coming soon. I'll let you know when it comes about.
so it must be something weird with my libido today, as for some reason I am painfully aware of how many women are around me and undressing everyone mentally, even those I dont find particularly attractive.
And it goes double for women I know that Im thinking about.
I wish I didnt throw out my back so I could put this heightened state to good use.
Happy birthday to my father Set.
Yeah, He may be intimidating, He may not LIKE you too much, He may destroy things...
But He is the one who has the strength of ages. And He'll lend it to those who ask for it, and work WITH (not for) people who need help acomplishing the difficult tasks.
He's got my back. And that says something. Because not everybody does.
Happy Birthday Uncle Heru-wer!
that is all.
Note: Abilify is odd while sleeping. Sex dreams or Night Terrors.
Im doing ok, but Im feeling a little lost...
I used to be the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt, but lately Im not.
I need some change, and Im hoping my move to California will fit that bill. I guess I feel like I ignored myself and havent done much that I love or spoiled myslef really.
Ive just been feeling rather boring and unattractive and stuff.
I cant even blame my depression much because Ive got on some good meds and I feel ok...its just the fallout of years of being depressed and the need to find myself again. To capture my edge again.
Im hoping that the Bay Area will be a good place to do that.
Ive lost it too many times here to regain it in this place.
But its hard to leave somewhere comfortable, somewhere familiar...even if its not the best situation.
It doesnt help that my depression has isolated me from the things that get me going. lots of people. My large variety of friends have all gone off and left me with very few. Hell, now I dont even get flirted with anymore here. (and yes, I know Im married now, but I still crave it)
I guess its just time to pick up and leave.
I'll miss what I am leaving. Family. A few good friends. Wont miss my job, but who would?
so thats how I am. How are you?
well, its pretty much official.
We're not going to Egypt this year, and instead are ramping up for a move to California.
We figured out some details this last weekend, how she might have to move out there first and get a job and get insurance before I can move out there.
I dont know what Im going to do by myself for a couple months. Hopefully she'll find something quick and I will be out there in a month or so.
so, Im going to be selling off some furniture, such as an entire bedroom set, a glass/mirror dining room set, some bookshelves, a couch...
Let me know if you are looking for anything, we're getting rid of a lot.
if all goes as planned, I COULD be out of here by late september.
I could probably do that sex meme thats going around about who would have sex with me, but it would be a wash, because most of my flist wouldnt respond...its just not their type of question.
Ive been looking for leather aprons so I could LOOK like a brewer if I ever did SCA stuff. Havent found a good looking one for under 180$
the day is going so slow though...I need a cocktail (and maybe just a tail)
Its beautiful out and Im stuck in the basement of a building with no windows or outside air or light.