Nakht (jackal_logic) wrote,

Im doing ok, but Im feeling a little lost...
I used to be the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt, but lately Im not.
I need some change, and Im hoping my move to California will fit that bill. I guess I feel like I ignored myself and havent done much that I love or spoiled myslef really.
Ive just been feeling rather boring and unattractive and stuff.
I cant even blame my depression much because Ive got on some good meds and I feel ok...its just the fallout of years of being depressed and the need to find myself again. To capture my edge again.

Im hoping that the Bay Area will be a good place to do that.
Ive lost it too many times here to regain it in this place.
But its hard to leave somewhere comfortable, somewhere familiar...even if its not the best situation.

It doesnt help that my depression has isolated me from the things that get me going. lots of people. My large variety of friends have all gone off and left me with very few. Hell, now I dont even get flirted with anymore here. (and yes, I know Im married now, but I still crave it)

I guess its just time to pick up and leave.
I'll miss what I am leaving. Family. A few good friends. Wont miss my job, but who would?

so thats how I am. How are you?
_jackal out.

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